What Is Up With Louis

I am unsure right now. Actually, I am unsure most of the time and it's a feeling that has been with me my whole life let alone after becoming a paraplegic. I don't like the uncertainty. I also don't like the little bumps along my road to recovery. I want to be strong and shrug them off, but at times it's difficult to find the strength. Here's the truth. Everything is slow now. Daily routines take forever. I have bowel and bladder accidents once or twice a week. Last week I had my first Urinary Tract Infection - this manifested in increased pain and decreased energy. Some days I sleep well, others I stay up with pain. My back is knotted so tightly that it feels like muscle is being torn from the bone. And I don't feel confident being alone. My list of uncertainties and insecurities prior to the accident is twice as long. Every where I go there I am. And as before I still find moments of joy and beauty. A successful transfer to or from my chair, a note f...

When I woke in the hospital post surgery I was acutely aware that I no longer had use of the part of my body below my arms. At the time it didn't really phase me. I mean, I'd seen people in wheelchairs before. I knew that they got around well and some were doing incredible things. So naturally I thought I would pull the numerous tubes from my body, hop into a chair and get to work. For some reason I was certain I would be creating more images right away and those images would be more relevant than ever before. Then I was going to visit all the people I knew giving out hugs and letting them know how they influenced me, and also spend time with family and friends. There was this drive to put all all my effort and energy into creating positive change in the world. The reality was I wasn't ready to go.  The accident was traumatic. Not only had I fractured several vertebrae and severed my spinal cord, I had broken ribs, collapsed a lung, scalped my head, received a concussio...

Having a spinal cord injury is not unlike becoming an infant again. Jim Harris gave me this analogy and it feels more appropriate than my explanation that I am starting over with a new body. While I still have use of my arms, hands, upper back, chest, neck and head using them to move the rest of a limp body is somewhat perplexing.  Sitting up in bed without a core is a little less graceful, sitting up to a table to eat a bit more challenging, carrying things... Most activities require a different method and I have no experience with any of them thus my status of infancy state. Luckily, learning happens a bit faster than infancy and the team at rehab is a wealth of information.  Overall this learning experience has been a total trip and sure to continue for years to come. Turned a corner earlier last week. Not sure what that corner was, but with each day the pain has reduced slightly, my movement appears to have improved and confidence has been building. Made a trip ho...

3/26/2020 Hey All, I realize it has been a bit since we have posted. This is Jacki,by the way. PT and OT have been going well. Louis' discharge date is scheduled for this Tuesday 3/31/2020 (yikes) so we have been hyper-focused on what needs to happen before then. Refining bladder and bowel care #1 - ALWAYS...right?? Independent transfers (moving from wheelchair to anywhere else) Floor transfers (what to do when Lou comes out of the chair unintentionally) Building strength Reducing pain meds Wrapping up house construction - cross your fingers, the universe truly needs to align for everything to get done.  AND..if it doesn't Tuesday will still come and go (my self talk apparently will not be silenced)! The restrictions at the hospital have gotten a bit tighter so we are crossing our fingers that I can continue to stay with Lou at night. This has been the only time we can actually be in each others company and feel some sort of grounding. Thank you all for stay...

This morning I passed out on the commode. It was frightening, but luckily I wasn't alone. After a fairly restful night Jacki and I were working together to get me up for the day. Transfer from bed to shower chair, wheel to bathroom, transfer to toilet bench ( a toilet seat that can be positioned over a toilet or equipped with a bucket to catch the daily waste).  We did this successfully with the watchful eyes of the aid Ruth. Once I settled onto the toilet seat portion of the bench I found my vision closing in. I let Ruth know and she checked my blood pressure. All good. I was still fading so she had nurse Rikki come assist. This light headedness is a common result once you incur a spinal injury. First suspects are bladder and bowel. "I am going to cath you Louie," Rikki explained. "Okay, let's cath me," I replied. Jacki and Rikki looked at each other.  Apparently, I had lost consciousness at Rikki's statement and lay naked, sprawled awkwardly on a...

When I woke up after the surgery, surrounded by friends and family, I had the acute knowledge that I had lost the ability to walk. It wasn't scary, it just was what it is. All I knew was I had work to do and without or without sensation below I needed to get to work. Reality was completely different. I had to recover. The biggest challenge I face now is managing pain and doing my daily PT and OT sessions. Despite having feeling in a small portion of my body the pain fills up rooms. Despite being somewhat fit before the accident I am in no way in shape to move myself with what I have. As we celebrate with each new movement learned I have to rest constantly and each new day I wake up stiff as a board with the aches of my injury joined by the soreness of tiny muscles waking up from never had been used in this way. Knots, cramps, are constant. I cry a lot. While I have done some challenging things in my life up to this point this one takes the cake by a long shot. Okay, enough abou...

This accident has some real lasting consequences. I arrived in the hospital hypothermic, scalped, concussed, broken ribs, collapsed left lung, a few broken ribs, several fractured vertebrae, and a complete transection of the spinal cord at the thoracic 4. That final one is the one i will not walk away from.  My scalp is healing remarkably well, my concussion slowly fading, my lung getting stronger, my ribs will heal and the vertebrae will also heal. The spinal cord, however, is finished, complete, history. What that means is I have no feeling or control below my nipples. No core, abs, or diaphragm control. Not ideal, but I do have complete control of my arms, biceps, triceps, shoulders, some lats, and scapulas. This means I have lots of opportunities to move my body below the nips around. This also means I will be in a wheelchair. Kind of a rough reality, but something I will gladly accept for another chance to hang with all the beautiful people in my life. Waking up aft...